Top 7 Hot And Sexy Ladies Behind Heavy Metal
When I decided to devote an entire post to the top 7 (I couldn’t think of 10) hottest girls, girlfriends, fiances, wives, and companions of heavy metal, I had only one thing in mind: generating thousands of additional stray and random hits on Google searches from people like you! So yes, I completely pimped out my wonderful, authoritative, and well-respected heavy metal review blog like a cheap groupie whore offering twofers and freebies to low level security personnel in the hopes of reaching Bret Michaels’ sweaty nut sack after a Poison show on a hot August night. I feel disgusting. No, I am disgusting. Anyways, here is the final result of this new Gears of Rock low:
#7 Fai McNasty (Mick Mars of Motley Crue) When I first heard of 25 year old McNasty with Mick Mars, I was worried. Seemed like the Zurich native was only looking to make a name for herself, setting Mars up for disappointment. Then again, Mick wouldn’t tolerate such nonsense.
Hotness: 6 Coolness: 6 Heavy Metal: 7 Avg: 6.3
#6 Taya Parker (Bret Michaels of Poison) Rock of Love was dumb. Rock of Love Bus was dumber. We watched ’em all and we are now brain dead.
Hotness: 9 Coolness: 5 Heavy Metal: 7 Avg: 7
#5 Carmen Elektra (Rob Patterson of Otep) Ms. Elektra is certainly getting up there in age these days and has built quite a resume (from Prince to Rodman to Navarro) but is still composed of a high level of hotness that is also fueled by the rock attitude that she continues to embrace.
Hotness: 9 Coolness: 7 Heavy Metal: 6 Avg: 7.3
#4 Tera Patrick (Evan Seinfeld of Biohazard and The Spyderz) Evan Seinfeld wrote a few sick metal tunes for Biohazard in the 90’s, now he is married to one of the hottest and most talented chicks in the porno biz.
Hotness: 8.5 Coolness: 8 Heavy Metal: 7 Avg: 7.8
#3 Kat Von D (Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue) Nikki Sixx is very bad ass and would only date a super bad ass gal. Kat Von D has been the epitome of hard rocker chick as we have seen on her reality show L.A. Ink. Whether you find her tattoos to be repulsive or a brilliant work of art, you can’t deny the fact that she rocks.
Hotness: 6 Coolness: 9 Heavy Metal: 9 Avg: 8
#2 Cristina Scabbia (Jim Root of Slipknot) Cristina “no damn h in it” Scabbia is not the hottest beauty on the planet. Instead, she is the hardest rocking woman in the universe. Even though Lacuna Coil’s last album was dull, a hot Italian girl that can front a metal band is many guy’s fantasy.
Hotness: 6.5 Coolness: 8 Heavy Metal: 10 Avg: 8.2
#1 Sheri Moon Zombie (Rob Zombie) She’s metal. She’s hot. She’s into horror. She’s, well, all Zombie!
Hotness: 7 Coolness: 10 Heavy Metal: 10 Avg: 9
Disclaimer: The arbitrary rankings used to compose this list are based on a scale of 10. None of the links above will take you to smut websites or pages with pornography, I hope. I also hope that you enjoyed the new low to which this blog sank.